When my husband and I got married we both looked forward to having a child, and we really want it the soonest time possible. We were so fond of our niece Plumplum that we want a kid of our own.
A few years back before we got married, which probably could be due to the call of motherhood, I would stare at a kid wishing I would have my own one day. The thought has lingered for some time until we got married. While we wait for our little one to be conceived, we enjoyed each other’s company by travelling and enjoying photography.
To be exact, come November 20, 2012, I did a home kit pregnancy test since I am already 3 days late my monthly period. I would know that I am delayed since I am in a 28 days cycle. I could say that morning was the happiest day of my life, I tested positive for pregnancy! I then texted my husband, who is out of the country the good news, and he couldn’t believe that our wish has been granted. We were both so happy! Out of excitement he eagerly searched for baby names.
While driving to the office, I was in such a happy mood that I was willing to give up office poise (goodbye high heeled shoes) and figure (hello rice!) for our baby. My mother and mother-in-law was infomed of the good news and they were very happy.
My husband and I were planning to visit Japan during that time. I already have submitted the VISA requirements a day before I found out I was positive for pregnancy. I thought that our little bundle’s first travel will be in Japan 🙂
I suddenly felt the urgency to visit an Obigyny (OB) on the same day due to pink discharges that I have found. Since my regular OB did not have clinic hours on that day in the nearby hospital, I opted to the OB of my officemate’s wife which was highly recommended. I was asked to take two (2) weeks bed rest due to the spotting. I was shot with progesterone hormones and have taken progesterone gels/capsules to keep the blood in my uterus and a medication to relax the muscles in my uterus (Duvadilan). I ate healthy foods and have literally rested on bed.
While I rested on bed, my mom and the rest of the family have taken good care of me. Cooked healthy foods for me and have given foods that I crave. My brother learned to cook pancakes because I requested pancakes 🙂
On the weekend of that same week, I asked to be rushed to the hospital due to excessive spotting. I was so afraid, I thought I would lose our baby. Our doctor was phoned by a resident who attended to me to report my case and I was recommended to ensure that I make my follow-up check-up the following week.
My sister and my mom, even though how busy their schedule is will give way to accompany me to the hospital since I thought that driving might stess me out and add may trigger spotting.
During my follow-up check-up, Transvaginal Ultrasound revealed that there is no sac and my uterus is less thick as compared the week before. My doctor ruled out pregnancy. Sadness have not yet enveloped me during that moment, however when I see babies, baby picture frames and when I go to sleep at night, I feel the sadness and can’t help to cry.
I still thank God for the wonderful feeling of motherhood anticipation, I guess God just gave me a nudge on how it would feel to be a parent. My husband was also saddened. We still look forward when a baby will be granted to us. We know that in God’s time our little bundle will go back. He or she is probably still in heaven with Plumplum, waiting for God’s time. We will wait for you anak 🙂